I used to take a nihilistic approach to meaning, "well, in the END NOTHING MATTERS"
but that's b.s., because in the subjective reality of the now, things do matter.
and what would be a good sense of purpose, a higher calling? smart ppl have suggested frequently, "how about helping others, making them feel good, etc.."
and then i used to think, well, if you make others feel good ,let's say I help ppl in America feel better, and America is an evil empire, then really I'm fucking the world
or if I save some kid in Africa, then that guy is another hungry mouth to feed; and maybe he should've learnt to take care of himself.
or maybe this is the way it's meant to be, AIDS killing ppl off is "creative destruction"
but the ULTIMATE truth when it comes to things of high subjectivity, i.e. judging morality and meaning, is that you will think whatever you want to think.
me not wanting to help others or thinking that there is no meaning in the world is just borne out of my own nihilistic bias.
because
look, I can prove it that helping that kid in africa or helping people in America is good.
for example, you can say there is varying degrees of certainty that you are making a net positive effect on people's emotions
for example, if I help that kid in africa, his family'll be happier and he'll be better off, i helped him, I have certainty that that part in isolation was good
now for the macro effects, like whether he is an extra hungry mouth to feed, well, the more macro you get, the less certain you are about the effects, your certainty approaches 0.
so you should weigh direct effects appropriately.
and indirect effects much much less.
but see the thing is, my bias now, which is one of positivitiy and good times is making me see the benefits of having meaning in life.
I want to believe that life has purpose, and so I'm discovering ways to prove that it exists.
which my profundity bias finds relevant to describe here.
