visit Philosophistry dot com for the full meee.

Meghan O'Rourke sez it right on the book The Bitch in the House (http://slate.msn.com/id/2099685/)

that feeling entitled to bitchiness is just veiled arrogance.

they are emotionally just as off as the man who beats his wife is (though physically, the man beating the wife is worse), in that by getting angry they pretend that the other party deserves their ire.

I hope I don't get with someone that shows any sign of that sadistic "hmmpf" as she stands over me with a menacing look.

hell, I hope I stay away from any relationship with ANY menace.

frustration and agony toward each other is fine, I guess, but that steaming menacing "I'm gonna get you" look is not something I want to be around.